Arg. That's all I can say.

Right now it is about 7:30 in the morning. I am not up because I decided to be an "early bird" and wake up with the sun, no- I am awake because I never fell asleep in the first place. Sadly, I never even made it as far as my bed to even try to go to sleep.

I don't really like getting into topics that are too personal on here, but I think last night has pushed me to a breaking point of sorts. I must share some things that are bugging me.

I live in a house that is dysfunctional on multiple levels:
1- We have rats that live in our back yard bushes. I know the bird seed that my dad leaves out is what has attracted them. He refuses to remove the seed.
2- We have pipes that leak within the floors and walls.
3- We have drains that back up on occasion. Apparently the sewage pipes in the back yard are being invaded by roots, clogging them up. When large quantities of water are drained from the house - say, through a toilet or a shower- the putrid water will flow down from it's point of origin, but will never make it away from our yard. A glowing example of this occurred last night when my brother started taking a shower. I heard dripping coming from downstairs and thought it was water leaking through the floor (from the previous mentioned pipes). Much to my dismay, I came downstairs to find a bathroom/laundry room full of water that was coming up through the shower and the toilet. Adding to the fun was a floor full of [now] soaked clothing (piles of unwashed laundry).
4- Nothing will ever dry. Because of the repeated water leakages, we actually have mushrooms growing where the carpet meets the wall.
5- Nothing is in good condition. In trying to vacuum up the water last night, I found out in the most frustrating way possible that the vacuum was missing a drainage cap. The second I stopped vacuuming, the water started pouring out of the basin of the wet vac.
6- Everything is messy. My brothers are lazy, my dad is horrendously messy, my mother is exhausted, and I have found myself in a spell of apathy.
7- My actual family also has massive issues. But this is not the place to really dive into that subject. All I can say is that certain people lack basic logic, almost all of us are hypocritical on some level, no one can communicate about anything serious in a civilized manner, and we all are slightly crazy (in different ways).
8- I have a mosquito bite on my arm and my roots are showing a lot of grey.
9- The first friend I had that got married out of college will soon become the first friend from college that has a child. This is nuts.

Okay, 8 and 9 are ridiculous and only put up as distractions. The rest, well, I guess it could be worse. Maybe going into JVC will help me realize how good I actually have it. Right now I am blessed with one brother that is the most loving person I know, another who really values respect for others, and another who can make me laugh like nobody's business. I also have a mother who is just as quirky as I am, who appreciates the small oddities of life as I do. My dad is someone who can be caring, but he is the one that I am most challenged with. I am not a daddy's girl. Around him, I resemble what could be deemed a "smart ass back-talker."

Last night, I was the one cleaning things up. I don't understand why us girls always have to take on those jobs.


On a random side note - I miss all of my friends dearly. I miss good hugs, long conversations, and random outings. I miss the parks of Spokane and the memories I made there. I miss feeling comfortable in my surroundings. Life from here on out is going to be foreign for me. I hope there will be good times along the way.
Good thing I'll be seeing two of my closest friends from high school tonight- they will provide the mental break that I need.

Wow. 8am now...