Before I step forward, I look back

Today I opened a box of pictures that has been taped up for four years. Inside were pictures that go all the way back to my awkward middle school years. There are pictures of friends, family, random oddities, and [shockingly] me.


I have noticed a few things from these pictures:

- I rarely jumped into any pictures. Somehow I thought I would remember the people in the pictures forever and seeing just them would be enough.

- I liked to take pictures of animals and scenery. I liked what I saw, but never captured it well. Looking back I have a bunch of crappy zoo pictures and random photos of battlefields.

- My friend JS should never ever ever bleach his hair again.

- I have gone through many many "fashion" phases. Fashion is in quotes, because I have never been in with a trend. I have, however, managed to grasp the look of too-short bangs, the shirt tied around the waist innovation, the flannel and cargos look, and every awkward face imaginable.

- I have never taken candid pictures well. I should never try this again.

- I actually had a few cute moments in the past, but never saw myself in that light. Now I look at myself and wonder why I let my distortions win. Now I am no where close to where I used to be and I am still in a constant battle with myself. I wonder what it would have been like if I had actually liked myself all these years. Happiness is an elusive fellow in my life. Especially since I give up on things often.


A picture really is worth a thousand words, but those words change as time goes on. Self-image effects esteem and esteem influences self-image. It takes a lot to break that cycle, and I have yet to find the key to doing that.


Good thing my passion for others is always strong. I hope I'll be able to do well despite my flaws and difficulties.

It begins...

Yesterday was the beginning of this coming year. I started a group e-mail to the people within the house I will be living in and got the ball rolling on introductions. It is a very curious time, this period of anticipation and waiting. Months from now I will actually know these people and will have shared experiences with them. We will be sharing an apartment in Harlem and living in a city that I have never even visited.

Now five of the six in our house have written, and it looks like we will be an interesting mix of personalities. One girl seems to be as excited as I am, another was a theatre major just like I was, one girl went to my school and seems really chill, and one of the guys sounds like he doesn't really take much seriously (his entire e-mail was a total joke). The remaining guy is actually a volunteer already and will be coming back for a second year. Quite the crew we will be. I foresee many fun nights and a bunch of random-ass adventures.

Soon the bulk of this blog will be about my new adventures in New York. Stay tuned folks.

Ridiculous

I recently had an experience at work that made me want to run out of the store screaming.

Of course I had a handle on myself and did no such thing, but the urge was there.

To keep it short and vague, a small little venting rant I had one day with a supervisor was distorted, blow out of proportion, and spread to a co-worker who ended up getting offended (this "supervisor" acted totally unprofessional). I felt pushed into a corner when I knew I had done nothing wrong.

I was approached in the middle of my work day. It was all I could do to remain calm and collected.


The incident made me hate my job.

I know them!

I visited Spokane this past weekend, with apparently amazing timing. We were just flipping through the most recent edition of The Inlander and happened to come across this article on a couple of our friends who happen to actually be making something of themselves. How cool. Too bad they didn't even tell anyone to look for them in the paper.

The big deal about them? Apparently TONS of people have seen this (it's actually a featured video on Youtube):



I decided to Google these two gentlemen and found that just about everyone has been posting them up on the internet. How cool! I know them! (Hehehe... I'm sure Luke can just imagine me "cackling with delight.")

Check them out at Barats and Bereta Productions.

Sibling Science

Time magazine has published this article in its most recent issue.

We get this magazine at my house, so I read this article tonight. It's interesting how every social interaction can influence who a person becomes. Having three younger brothers myself, I am very intrigued by this study and some of the ideas that it presents.

Strobing Strawberry Shortcake

Today I talked to the most adorable little girl ever. She was probably about 4 or 5 and had on little Strawberry Shortcake sandals that lit up. When she was in the store with her mom, she came right up to our counter and peeked her little head over the top with the assistance of both of her hands. At one point she came around to the side and did the whole excited little kid squatting thing (if you've ever seen an excited youngin, you know what I'm talking about). I was able to have a conversation about strawberries with her and was even able to mention how I liked Rainbow Brite.

Interacting with this little girl totally reminded me of how much I like working with children and how much I miss having the opportunity to interact with them on a regular basis. Clothing has it's fun points (manikins are way fun to dress), but I really wish I could have done the camp thing again this summer. I think this means that after this next year I am going to seriously look into the teaching profession.

If only there were a way to mix my passion for color and the arts with my passion of working with youth...