I make myself giggle

Last night I had a few beers in me, which meant I was tipsy enough to think every idea I had was brilliant, but sober enough to operate my computer. Bad mix, in most occasions.
This most recent occasion, however, was not too bad. I e-mailed one of my close friends who I have not heard from in a while, and in counting on his being extremely busy I decided to write his response e-mail for him. This is what I wrote to him:

"So I think you need to call me at your earliest convenience. If you do not foresee you, yourself, having a convenience any time soon- then please take a minute and respond to this and tell me so I know not to wait. If you must respond- write in the subject: 'Kelly, I am a busy fool.' and in the body: 'I am sorry I don't have enough time. I wish I was cool enough to spare 15 minutes to talk to you, but my life will not allow it - there would be a coolness overload and my phone would explode. I will call you [fill in day]. One day I will regret the time I have missed hearing your witty banter and awkward phrases, but until that day I will be a sad little man who is running close to empty on momstertime. (I said little, because I am a man who appears to be shrinking in every new picture of me.) My life will be empty until the next time I tell you a random story from my adventures in {his city}, but until then I will have to deal. Adieu, {his name}.'" - and the e-mail continued.

I must say I was thoroughly entertained when he actually followed my instructions. Also, in reading it today I laughed out loud a few times - I THINK I'm SOOOOOO CLEVER!

Sadly, it is true. I really think this was the funniest thing. Mainly, this is because it really looks like I think very highly of myself writing such nonsense. Just to fill you in, I really only pretend to have an ego for humors sake - the rest of the time I am fairly down to earth and more on the cynical side.